"Dr. Card is full off shit and won’t do shit"
SEATTLE, WA -
A coalition of scientific experts today recently published a snap-study that fellow scientist Danny Card won’t do shit, even after uttering his 100th “I swear to God” under his breath.
“Questions were raised between the first and ninety-ninth time he said it, but this final breakthrough confirms without a shadow of a doubt, Dr. Card is full off shit and won’t do shit”, main antagonist and lead researcher, Dr. William Coughing stated.
“It’s groundbreaking work: whether it was to take the trash out, follow through with his taxes, not pass out drunk and miss work again, the proof is in the pudding that this man don’t do shit.”
At press time, Card sent a statement saying he would retire swearing to god and would now pledge his oath instead.
